Thursday, October 28, 2010

in which i grow tired

Well, I am broke.  Thus far in October, I have had eight separate doctors appointments spanning five doctors.  I have three more -- count 'em, three -- this coming Wednesday before I head south to Willamette U. to be on a career panel for up-and-commer scientists and then get infused with Remicade before flying to San Diego for my first major conference.  With all due gratitude to my government bosses for providing excellent coverage for their employees, never underestimate the paycheck-dissolving power of copays and prescription fees.  I can no longer afford to eat sushi twice a week.  Woe is me!  My bedside table is officially over flowing with all my vials of drug, and I'm not entirely sure that my body is tolerating them either.

However, our home is thoroughly draped in Halloween splendor and this Saturday's party -- whether or not my guests decide to appear in costume, ahem -- will be well-worth the cooking frenzy (let's not kid ourselves -- I am not above a last-minute run to Costco to make sure the meal is edible).  And Sunday... Sunday is reserved for horror flicks and football.  Hell.  Yes.

The cycle has snowballed, and I am, as yet, uncertain whether it is calming down.  Despite all the more tangible symptoms, the fatigue is what is most getting in my way.  Because of the fatigue, I don't run in the mornings.  When I don't run in the mornings, the depression comes on all the more easily.  When the depression sets in, I don't sleep because I spend the evening terrorizing and bloating my sinuses.  When my sinuses are bloated, not all the sinus irrigation/flonase/sudaffed/fexofenadine or promethazine in the world can help me sleep.  And when I don't fall asleep, it doesn't matter how many times my bladder forces me to get up through the night.

Where is my colon in all this, you ask?  It's fidgeting on the sidelines trying so valliantly to get onto the field.  "Lookit me! I'm giving you car sickness every morning and every afternoon!" it wails, "I'm giving you the most delightful smorgasbord of Throughput and you're not even paying attention to me!"  Alas, my loyal companion, you have taken a back seat to other -- dare I say, more pressing -- issues.  Never fear; your time in the lime light will come again soon.


  1. ugh. oh, raga. it is a woeful day indeed when the colon is jockeying for stage time. some things i tried that helped with fatigue, sort of: emergen-c. kombucha. vaporizer (not, unfortunately, the kind that vaporizes one's enemies). heating pad. chamomile tea. dubious eye mask obtained on delta flight for work.

    hang in.

  2. many thanks, Kara. i'll have to grab some emergen-c this afternoon. not a kombucha fan, however.

    i'm following your half-marathon training feats for inspiration.

  3. Best of luck at the conference/ and with the remicade. That medication/infusion worked wonders for me initially, but for some reason my estranged immune system decided to become immune to it after the second infusion.
    I've met quite a few people who have had some great success with it though for a long time, hopefully that can be you too. best of luck