fiber and loose ends

This post being about fiber, I thought it fitting to tie up -- or at lease re-lace -- a few loose ends (tehe...).

The ants have been Terminixed into oblivion (or scared away for the moment).  The rotting flesh has relented just enough to inspire the hope that it will one day be gone (I now have a sexy little bald spot -- fortunately hidden -- which I dare to dream will be refilled in the happy future).  And finally, my zest for experimental cooking has been reborn and outrageously fiber-themed.

In truth -- there was a day where I ate an egg, a kale and apple salad (uncooked... wtf?) and grilled asparagus.  It's like wishing for death by intestinal rupture.  But I've been on a good streek...

 That's not my beer.

The fear that I might have to resign from Remicade in the near future sparked a desire to reintroduce as much fiber into my diet as possible while I still can, and perhaps get to a point where I can rely on it for maintenance.  I have long been jealous of the folks who are able to maintain a level of comfort through the Simple Carbohydrate Diet, which I have never been able to do without catapulting into a flare or exciting a collective of food allergies.

Since the insane kale asparagus day, I have backed off somewhat, eating raw veggies only occasionally and always buffered by starch of some sort (yeah, the gluten-free thing didn't last too long either thanks to dear and shamefully neglected GERD), or Tofu.  Grilled julienned zucchini and seaweed is my new favorite lunch kit -- small, fast prep and consumption, filling enough.  The Lab forces me to eat healthier lunches anyway because I have this compulsion about not eating finger food between bench runs, and sometimes have to neglect my meal midway through to make time-sensitive sample transfers or solution adjustments.

Unfortunately, fiber -- particularly insoluble fiber, which is the star of this new dietary whim -- also leads to very unpleasant bus rides to and from work.  The kind of bus rides that I have mentioned before (so many times, in fact, that it should really be its own tag term).  The kind of bus rides that elevate anxiety and provoke daydreams of flowing off of public transit in a deluge of... well, let's keep this PG-rated, shall we?  Fiber alters [read: lengthens] my schedule in order to accommodate new time slots between meals in which it is safe to travel.  The starch buffer helps to a degree.

Yes, that is an ice Lego minifig in my BenchFly mug of diet soda (allow a woman some indulgences...).

Is it worth it?  Are the long-term benefits of eating healthier foods during this pain-free window going to have efficacy?  I like to think of the inconvenience as analogous to a woman who wears anti-ergonomic heals despite the arch aches and blisters, and to hope that I wont later appear to myself as ridiculous as she does to me.

in which ambition is met with not so positive reinforcement

The PNW continues to sweep the skies with both effulgent blue and hail.  And it makes me think I have special powers or some such chimerical baloney.  This afternoon, feeling especially accomplished after a long day, I came home and ran.  And felt great about it.  And lasted for a whole 2 miles.  And then collapsed on the couch like a dead tree.  A repulsive dead tree untouched even by organisms of decay, and with a coelom full of turbulent sea water that has no business being there.  Nausea, heartburn, colon spasm; the whole gang came to partay.  I can't even keep tea down right now, but at least my fatigue feels warranted.  I may not eat for a day or so after this one.

Why is it that I am most motivated to exercise, or run errands or do chores when I feel [physically] most miserable?  It's almost as if when comfort sets in I'm perfectly happy to just sit back and enjoy it.  Then, when the rotten feelings come I feel an extra push to run myself into the ground in order to beat them at their own game.  Except most of the time I don't feel better for it afterward.  Or maybe the ambition is just a side effect of the sunshine... In any case, despite this [not so] positive reinforcement that now has me desperately pinned to the hard, flat, motionless couch cushions, somehow I don't think I'll be deterred from running again tomorrow afternoon unless an icy storm hits.

why driving during a Crohn's attack is not a great idea

As soon as I stepped onto the bus this evening after an awesome sushi date with my ex-post-doc, last night's record mysteriously began to play itself again.  Only this time, it was dark and rainy and I was twenty minutes further from home.  Can you feel the suspense building already?
Well I must disappoint you, here; the pain was not quite so spine-stiffening as last night.  In fact, I read a full eight pages of my book, and absorbed roughly three (compare to last night's 2:0).  Once again, I requested H.B.'s assistance in preparing my hot pad, and as I stepped into my car I realized that I was about to embark on a unique four-minute journey.  It is a bad idea to drive during a Crohn's attack because when applying the brakes and/or turning the vehicle, you make more use your lower stomach muscles than you probably realize.  I've never induced a muscle cramp in my stomach from driving before, but one of the turns I made tonight mid-pain-wave was made tight enough by the rainy road.  I subsequently sat up straight to try to relieve it and, in so doing, released the spasms of my left large intestine and lower middle small bowel.  So I hunched over again.  This back-and-forth continued until I got home, had to park at the other end of the complex (on the solitary night that I would have preferred not to be caught in the rain), and had to shuffle-sprint (this must have been utterly hilarious to behold) an eighth-mile to my dominion.

Do not drive during a Crohn's attack.  It will give you muscle spasms.

What I forgot to mention yesterday was the resurfacing of heartburn.  It emerged a month ago when I began reintroducing solid/mush foods.  That was completely understandable as my esophageal sphincter was likely reacting to the transition from pure liquid to slightly solid -- an increase in pressure, provoking reflux.  This time, however, there is no new food.  I ate cauliflower soup, egg, chicken and rice yesterday.  I ate a bagel and a bit of sushi today.  There is no excuse for heartburn, yet here it is.  It is noteworthy that in eleven years of Crohn's disease I have only ever had heartburn when reintroducing solid food following a liquid diet stint.  Another new (or at least newly placed) symptom!  Hoorah!

Once again, I am thoroughly enjoying watching Mythbusters and tea whilst high (on oxycodone).

Heartburn

I felt it was noteworthy that even as prednisone has begun to conquer the intestinal turbulence, the inevitable heartburn reigns again.  Having come to expect and even celebrate its arrival as one might welcome the Inquisition, I made it a point this evening to make my guest feel at home in the aberrancy of my esophagus.

After a month of broth and starches, the assault of fiber and protein on my esophageal epithelials has, once again,  won out over denial.  Come chamomile; come Tums; come egg, avocado and sweet potato.