Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I effing hate ants.  This afternoon marks a peak incident in the rising number of the pests who have over-ridden my bathroom, living room and kitchen each morning and afternoon for the last several weeks.  Maybe it's because I worked a very long and labor-intense day.  Maybe it's because I had coffee this morning and am still on-edge.  Maybe it's because I'm tired of planting spiders in various corners of my home and willing them to gorge themselves (yes, I actually do this and spiders have become so my friends through Spring that I do so with my bare fingers).

Maybe it's just because I came home and walked into my kitchen and stepped on a two-inch thick trail of ants leading from behind the fridge to the [sealed] garbage and recycling bins (it is of note that the traps that I set in the crevice between the fridge and wall were totally desolate).  Perhaps it has something to do with my being startled into jumping for safety to an ant-free zone and looking down to see that I had skipped onto yet another trail of ants -- headed, seemingly, to my dishwasher.

I would even go so far as to speculate that it has something to do with my spending 25 minutes (yes, I clocked this shit) vacuuming up ant trails, taking out the garbage and recycling and Lysoling every inch of linoleum.  This was precious energy that I so carefully preserved throughout the day, and which I had hoped to use to run this evening after a long day of standing at the bench and staring into hours worth of statistical manipulation.  It could, however, also be because when I re-entered the kitchen with emptied/Lysoled bins, the two-inch thick trail of ants had entirely replenished itself...

It could be because of any of the above reasons that I am now feeling totally defeated, exhausted and not chillaxed.  However, I think it was walking out of my kitchen feeling that I had finally won the battle, plopping heavily onto my couch and seeing that my living room carpet was alive with tiny black beasts that ultimately did me in.  I just gave up and cried into the couch pillow.

In a history of 9 houses/apartments, I have never seen anything like this.  I cannot wait to move out of this miserably maintained crap hole.

Nothing like a little H.K. humor and some garlic broccoli to  lighten a girl's heart.  Isn't it something that I am more likely to be undone by ants than by Crohn's?..

1 comment:

  1. Holy Ant-trail Batman!
    Yuck, yuck, yuck! That sounds awful. I hope you can get out ASAP and find a chillax-worthy spot to park. Until then, I'll send you the spiders that steal in our place. ;)