Wednesday, April 13, 2011

in which ambition is met with not so positive reinforcement

The PNW continues to sweep the skies with both effulgent blue and hail.  And it makes me think I have special powers or some such chimerical baloney.  This afternoon, feeling especially accomplished after a long day, I came home and ran.  And felt great about it.  And lasted for a whole 2 miles.  And then collapsed on the couch like a dead tree.  A repulsive dead tree untouched even by organisms of decay, and with a coelom full of turbulent sea water that has no business being there.  Nausea, heartburn, colon spasm; the whole gang came to partay.  I can't even keep tea down right now, but at least my fatigue feels warranted.  I may not eat for a day or so after this one.

Why is it that I am most motivated to exercise, or run errands or do chores when I feel [physically] most miserable?  It's almost as if when comfort sets in I'm perfectly happy to just sit back and enjoy it.  Then, when the rotten feelings come I feel an extra push to run myself into the ground in order to beat them at their own game.  Except most of the time I don't feel better for it afterward.  Or maybe the ambition is just a side effect of the sunshine... In any case, despite this [not so] positive reinforcement that now has me desperately pinned to the hard, flat, motionless couch cushions, somehow I don't think I'll be deterred from running again tomorrow afternoon unless an icy storm hits.

1 comment:

  1. Oh how AWFUL, Ragamuffin. I do hope you feel better soon. And that an icy storm hits tomorrow so your psyche feels comfortable just letting your poor body take it easy! ;) On a side note, when I feel sickest, I also feel that strong urge to DO something, anything that makes me feel normal and productive...which is oftentimes counterproductive. Yeesh, you'd think I'd have learned by now, eh?! Take care of yourself, there, and have as restful an evening as your revolting body lets you!