why driving during a Crohn's attack is not a great idea

As soon as I stepped onto the bus this evening after an awesome sushi date with my ex-post-doc, last night's record mysteriously began to play itself again.  Only this time, it was dark and rainy and I was twenty minutes further from home.  Can you feel the suspense building already?
Well I must disappoint you, here; the pain was not quite so spine-stiffening as last night.  In fact, I read a full eight pages of my book, and absorbed roughly three (compare to last night's 2:0).  Once again, I requested H.B.'s assistance in preparing my hot pad, and as I stepped into my car I realized that I was about to embark on a unique four-minute journey.  It is a bad idea to drive during a Crohn's attack because when applying the brakes and/or turning the vehicle, you make more use your lower stomach muscles than you probably realize.  I've never induced a muscle cramp in my stomach from driving before, but one of the turns I made tonight mid-pain-wave was made tight enough by the rainy road.  I subsequently sat up straight to try to relieve it and, in so doing, released the spasms of my left large intestine and lower middle small bowel.  So I hunched over again.  This back-and-forth continued until I got home, had to park at the other end of the complex (on the solitary night that I would have preferred not to be caught in the rain), and had to shuffle-sprint (this must have been utterly hilarious to behold) an eighth-mile to my dominion.

Do not drive during a Crohn's attack.  It will give you muscle spasms.

What I forgot to mention yesterday was the resurfacing of heartburn.  It emerged a month ago when I began reintroducing solid/mush foods.  That was completely understandable as my esophageal sphincter was likely reacting to the transition from pure liquid to slightly solid -- an increase in pressure, provoking reflux.  This time, however, there is no new food.  I ate cauliflower soup, egg, chicken and rice yesterday.  I ate a bagel and a bit of sushi today.  There is no excuse for heartburn, yet here it is.  It is noteworthy that in eleven years of Crohn's disease I have only ever had heartburn when reintroducing solid food following a liquid diet stint.  Another new (or at least newly placed) symptom!  Hoorah!

Once again, I am thoroughly enjoying watching Mythbusters and tea whilst high (on oxycodone).