Wednesday, August 26, 2009

...but it wanes

Two things happened today:

1) My boss mentioned how awful his GRE scores were and that he didn't think he could get into Stanford's program today. He then commented that many people who he deems scientists worth training apply to OHSU with scores barely breaching 1000.

2) I tried to eat some rice and nearly died.

My reactions to these things were as follows:

1) Inspired by my boss's honesty, I went home and did another practice test using scratch paper this time instead of trying to train myself for speed by doing everything in my head. 20% improvement. :) My boss's vitiating of the general GRE was inspiring. This is a man who I respect a great deal; it is exceedingly rare to find in one person a great scientist, mentor and boss. So I have decided, with the help of his accidental encouragement, to concentrate on my health and let the test go what way it will. If Stanford refuses to interview me because my algebra and vocabulary analogies are mediocre, it is truly their loss. Well... and mine, because I would miss out on their Masters of Medicine program... but mostly theirs. The 20% improvement is also very settling.

2) I'm fucking sick of Ensure, broth and emulsified cracker. So I attempted the unthinkable: Jasmine rice. Five minutes later, I repented. Very, very desperately. To the gods of Kobol.

On a more relevant note, Dr. S got back to me today and said exactly what I expected him to: if I'm not getting any worse, stick to the prednisone and try to tough out the lack of diet. Prednisone doesn't work at the same rate for all flares. I am hoping that if I shift my concern away from the GRE (having accepted its overly dressed self-importance) and focus on staying happy and calm, I will sooner be able to enjoy such tasty things as... potato!

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