Monday, August 24, 2009

crash and burn

Well then. I have used my scientific analytical skills and deductive reasoning to ascertain the culprit(s) of last night's relapse. Weighing in at 1.5x as painful as this flare's initial attack, striking an epic 9.9 on the richter scale and legitimately petrifying my boyfriend into thinking I had gone into labor... last night's attack was (drumroll...)

... due to two slices of gluten- and allergen-free tapioca bread?

Seriously? Really?

Since gastros always tell you to eliminate dairy and fiber from your diet when dealing with Crohn's flares of any magnitude, I'm introducing solids back into my diet by way of the gluten-free realm. Safe, right?...

That's right, folks. I was so impressed that six days of prednisone had allowed me to keep down Lipton Soup Secrets noodle soup and a few Nilla Wafers that I strode boldly into the land of gluten-free starches to put some taste back on my pallet. I am willing to suggest that this was one of the worst mistakes of my life. Well... this mistake was, perhaps, not the tapioca bread but the fact that I brilliantly decided to sample the other goodies I found - a few puffs of Veggie Pirate's Booty and a small cocoa-tasting cookie thing.

CLEARLY this was too much excitement for my Nilla Wafer- and broth-fed tummeh. Good god. Two+ hours of some of the most violent pain of my life. I opted for 15mg oxycodone as opposed to heading to the ER for a morphine/anti-nausea drip at 1am the day I was supposed to return to work.

Oddly enough, I had the energy to actually go in to work today. At 7am (courtesy of my stay-at-home-boyfriend and chauffer). I know - I was shocked, too. And now I'm studying... I have no idea how the stimulant perk of prednisone chose to kick in at 6am this morning, but shit am I happy about it.

The only problem with going to work and trying to study all day is that... well... I'm freaking hungry. icanhaz toasted onion bagel with vegan shmear, lox and capers??

Conclusions: 6 days of 40mg prednisone was not enough to quell this flare, and new foods no matter how disgustingly mild should be introduced one at a time!


  1. hahaha!! that blows.

    love you

  2. Agree with Liz. Boyfriend seems like a keeper though...